Jan 21, 2016

Prayer of St. Francis (17)

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
To be understood as to understand

“Knowledge speaks,
but wisdom listens.”
                         Jimi Hendrix

Today we will look at the path of understanding how another thinks; and not just presenting our own ‘excellent’ thoughts on a topic.

Understanding Others

I find that this is my personally most difficult thought in the Prayer of St. Francis to follow through, as I tend to try to persuade another that my thoughts are best, and too often fail to understand how and why another thinks as they do. I too often talk first rather than listen, so I will be working on my approach to others who voice either complementary or disagreement with a given topic from now forward.
Only if we understand the other person, giving them time to articulate their point of view and/or concern, do we have the beginning of walking in their shoes, seeing their path. We do not know the deep background of any other individual, in fact, very few of us truly appreciate all we ourselves have gone through in our life, as much is buried in the deep sub-consciousness of our being, and is the result of many experiences we have had in our early years, and experiences we have had and buried in our lifetime, as well as those we keep fresh in our mind.
When we ‘listen’ to another, too many times it is just waiting for the other to stop so we can tell our story; and we fail to hear, really hear, what the other person is trying to say. Why do they think like they do? Is there some question that we might ask to help them clarify to us why they think as they do? Do we listen carefully to not only the words, but also their intonation and emphasis in how they say them?
I remember a friend of ours many years ago would really listen, and I mean really listen, and it was startling to talk with him. He would lean forward, look intently at you, and listen, ask questions, and truly try to understand what was being said, either in a group or one-on-one. It was humbling, since not many others would return the favor; but in his presence we w0uld all become more attentive to what the other would say, listening more intently so that thoughts and meanings became clearer, and it is surprising how thoughts would shift during those discussions.
I have found that simply arguing with another will not convince the other person what they are wrong; but only reinforces what both of us have thought. When we respond to the other with0ut attempting to understand how the other thinks it is too often worse than saying nothing, as it tends to harden the thought pattern that is present in both minds. Only by understanding why the other person thinks as they do can we offer other thoughts that could, perhaps, just perhaps, make the other person think, perhaps later on, what was being discussed and have new thoughts that could nudge the thoughts a bit. We never know; but only arguing about points in any field will never move another’s thoughts and beliefs, at least at that time.
Obviously, we will never understand another if we become angry and forceful; this is just the antithesis of what this line in the Prayer is saying.
And who knows, if we really listen to another we may, just may, actually learn something and change our own viewpoint just a bit.
Next we will look at this line in the prayer from the vantage point of reducing the loneliness that is part of all our lives.

“I do not want the peace
which passes understanding.
I want the understanding
Which bringeth peace.”
                                  Helen Keller

Questions to Ponder

Look at your response in a situation when a discussion on any topic gets intense. Is your usual response one that will intensifying the situation, or one that will ease the situation through understanding?

Meditation

“Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
Where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
To be consoled as to console,
To be understood as to understand,
To be loved as to love;
For it is in giving that we receive;
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
It is in dying to self that we are born to eternal life.”
If this meditation post has been helpful, I would appreciate it if you would pass it on or share it.