Jan 11, 2015

Pondering

 

1) We admit to ourselves, we are seemingly powerless over our life.

 

Put your pain in this place. See yourself in this powerless point. Admit it. Do not let this go. This is the crucial point to moving to Faith beyond that of a mustard seed. Admission that I, you, can not do this alone is the most critical point required to achieve the Faith that can move mountains. Yes it is possible, but first we have to see we, in our ego state, can not do this on our own, for we have seen ourselves from the ego center.

I have spent 20000 words or more extolling the fact that yes, we do in fact, have the power to change our lives and live a life of Abundance. But that process requires us to change our perception of the world that we live in, Living the life of Abundance requires us to mount the ability to allow us to leap into the care of our Creator, the Creator of the universe, the Eternal One, our God, the Holy Wisdom. This process can not be accomplished within the context of our self-centered self where we trust on one outside of ourselves, no matter how much we protest the opposite. All of us have been too battered by life and all the quirks therein to be able to have the level of trust in anything outside of what skills we can bring to the fore. Even those skills fail us at the most crucial moments, and things do not happen as we had hoped, wished – whatever we want to call it.

 

But the basic issue is that change is scary – downright scary. We have lived this life of distrust all of our lives, except when we were very small, where most of us were in a protected cocoon, where everything we needed was provided – food, love, warmth, protection from harm. But as we grew older, we stepped outside that cocoon and found things that were not so comfortable. School forced us to challenge ourselves, we had to face others that were not so nice, maybe bullied (yes, I was bullied), learn how to be friends, compromise, stress ourselves to gain the knowledge that would allow us to become adults,

 

Then as adults we had to learn to survive. If we are strong, we could, by strength of will, move in ways that had others following our lead. But even then we had to learn to fit in with others, and there were always others stronger than us. This meant that we to develop skills to survive, We had to learn to get along, We had to learn to depend on others, and if we were lucky, to trust others to do their job so that we could do ours. The more we learned to do that (and some never have learned that and refuse to take a risk), the wider scope of things we can cover and grow.

 

But many of us learned to fit in, find a job that payed us a wage so we could eat, house ourselves, feed the family, etc. Soon that became the end of all, living day to day, striving for outside events to bring us some joy.

 

Then we also grew in relationships. Most of these ended badly, even though if we were lucky we learned to grow gracefully in these relationships. If we were lucky, we found a compatible person whom we married. For many even that move ended badly, once again proving that we can trust no one but ourselves.

 

But no matter how things have turned out, even if we found the perfect job, we found the perfect mate, everything seems perfect from an outsider’s viewpoint, we found a hole in our life that nothing seems to fill. Despite all was well from a material viewpoint, that is, we have a family that loves us, we have or had a satisfying job, we make a good living that supplies all of our basic needs with a little left over, all was good ——

 

But when we looked deep inside – good, but –

 

Except, except — something was missing, that hole was still there.

 

So we started a process to fill that hole. Sometimes we may have found a drug (alcohol, sports, books, the internet, television – yes, these are all “drugs” to prevent us from examining anything too deeply to see what was missing) and filled our lives with these “things” so we did not have to think.

 

Until that was not enough, and the emptiness in our life became too much to bear, and we started reading and searching, sometimes consciously and sometimes unconsciously.

 

You are not reading this by accident, but a force greater than you put these words into your hand. The Eternal Force is always present, and when an opportunity presents itself in the form of a disaster, an accident, or just a feeling, the Eternal Force presents alternatives. The Eternal Wisdom is sneaky like that, giving us a nudge, a shove, a kick, and sometimes using a battering ram over us to help us grow, then putting the Teacher in place to give us some tools to grow around.

 

Sometimes the Teacher can be a book, sometimes it can be vision of Bliss, sometimes it can be a person that we meet and find a compatible soul who can read us like a book, but it is always a series of words and experiences that take us to the next step in our journey.

 

For me, I had a breathtaking visit with the Eternal Wisdom in December 1967. There my Eternal Wisdom made it clear that God will always be my guide, and would never let me down. But that left me dangling like a fish out of water. Shorty after that a Visionary came into the group I was with, and she remained my mentor for three years, until we moved upstate. She was a Master, and introduced me to the Work, that is, the teachings of Gurdjief, a Russian mystic from the early 1900s. His writings and the writings of his followers, combined with the experience of my mentor, opened up possibilities that have never stopped expanding, moving from possibilities to experiences to truths. I gained a thirst for the sublime, knowing that I had to Trust in this drive that lives within me to perceive more and more that all we have is but an illusion, a glimpse similar to some of those stars in our sky, that when examined closely by powerful telescopes consists of millions of galaxies, each with billions of stars. What we see in our skies is but an illusion of the truth, and what we see in our daily life is but an illusion of the truth of the miracles that exist in us and through us, if we but see.

 

If we but see.

 

Just like the stars, the illusion of life can fool us into believing that that is all there is, nothing more to life than what we see.

 

And that is all we will see, until we learn to trust in the Eternal Wisdom, in that Force that is the Universe, in all the great mysteries, that spins out of nothing each moment in what we call time, out of all the possible moments that could be, what we have is this Moment in all its potential.

 

Each Moment, each Instant of Time is filled with possibilities, that is ours to have,

 

If we but Trust.

 

And Trusting means abandoning what we seemingly know what is truth, but is only an illusion for all the possibilities that could be.

 

And to learn to trust, we have to admit that we have been powerless over how our life has progressed to this point, that the control we have over our life is limited at the very best, and we have no real cushion from the random events of life that come and go in our lives, no matter how great our life seems on the outside.

 

1) We admit to ourselves, we are seemingly powerless over our life.

 

Meditation

 

Our Eternal Wisdom, you have taught us that all that we see in our life is but an illusion to the Truth that exists around and in us at all times. We are striving to open our “eyes” and being to the possibilities that exist in Your framework. Just as the skies above mask their truth, so to do our life that we live mask the Truth of Your abiding presence. Help us see that all the we hide behind in our Ego prevents us seeing the infinite possibilities that are there. We place our gratitude in that You will keep the possibilities open to us for eternity.